I have always been a "where was I this time last year/month/week?" kind of a person. So, without feeling the need to analyze or justify that mentailty, I am doing that same sort of inventory as this year/decade draws to a close. Trite and cliche, I know, and well, I am doing it anyway.
I was de-freaking-pressed last year. I mean, I don't know how I made it through! Only, I actually do know, and now I want to say what I am grateful and thankful and hopefully understand and value these things even more.
This past year I depended on my friends. The people who loved me when I could not and would not love myself loved me when I was pretty bitter and unloveable. Today as I stand in the present wedged between the past and the future, I know that the buddies who love me today and loved me yesterday will love me tomorrow. That is a huge, huge, tiny thing that I appreciate more and more everyday.
This past year I went from a job I tolerated to a job I love, and I know that I am not defined by the place that signs the check or the title I have. I LOVE what I do, and I will always find a way to do it. Paid, not paid, professional, unprofessional, everyday I learn that I really believe that written communication is the last equal footing there is in this world, and I will teach others how to be amazing at this while remaining true themselves. Grammar doesn't mean anything if the words aren't grown from the soil of individual thought.
Tonight I am sitting in a room overlooking the cold Florida beach. Today I sat in the sun and just giggled at the about face my life has made from last year to now. Next year may be better, it may be worse, but every year teaches me something I thought I already knew in a way that quietly knocks me down every time.
Happy New Year.
