Fall forward

Such an amazing weekend! I completely forgot my camera, but I will get pics from others as soon as they get around to sending them this way.

I dressed as this scary/slutty/dead Halloween person. The "girls" that usually don't see the light of day were getting lots of attention. It was pretty funny, and I actually liked a little of the spotlight being on me.

What makes me laugh more than anything is just how completely free I have been feeling! All weekend I got to tell people about how happy I am, and I realized that it is a happiness without guilt. Now, I know, I shouldn't ever feel guilty for being happy. However, this weekend I realized that I usually do feel a sense of shame or unentitledness whenever I am happy. (Leave that one for the shrink.) Not this time!

This coming month is full of very teachery things and very careery things that I am looking at in a whole different way. Keeping my fingers crossed about a new thing that could possibly happen. I am also getting geared up for colder weather, some life changes, and another shot at something that could end up being wonderful.

Oh yeah, and I agree with Liz about this other thing. We were at bux today talking about Tuesday. I, too, get chills and want to cry at the prospect of the sweeping change that threatens to happen in slightly more than 48 hours. I don't want to say too much; I feel like that will need another entry. For now, I am looking at Tuesday like a kid on Christmas Eve. This time I'm not waiting for a grandfatherly white dude with a sack full of empty promises and failed policies. I'm biting my lip and looking for a dark man on a white horse with his colors flying. He carries a future unwritten and I want to be a part of it.