Hello 2011

There is too much to do, so of course I am doing this!

Another year has come and gone and with it I have grown and learned as well. This past year saw me finally cutting the ties that were restricting blood flow and oxygen to the life I have always wanted. Pain and joy are at either end of the pole that I carry as I walk along the tightrope of emotional well-being. The child I was in the past I can't seem to leave is still present in my lived life. So today and tomorrow and all the days after I am working on looking forward and not back, up and not down, and who I want to be and not who I was.

Again this year, I was reminded of just how beautiful friends are and important and priceless and vital. Friendships are... well, they are the air I breathe these days. i don't know where I would be without the love they show me.

Nathan is such a huge part of my life in a way that goes beyond words. Being a better mom dominates my thoughts and is the source of so much anxiety. Do it right? Do it better? Take each day in stride and act like I totally have it all together? This year and all the years from now I want to work on listening more and hearing what he is saying without applying the filter of what I want to hear. Our smooth road is showing signs of being rocky, not now, bur later. I can just feel it...

Move forward, move forward, move forward...