Another trip to the vagina HQ

I went to the doctor for the latest roud of "poke around for cancer" tests. This time instead of going for a piece from each section, they decided to go for a large chunk that covered the entire cervix. Maybe that explains why I feel like I have been run through with a sword. That is what it feels like.

The doctor was actually nice this time around. He cracked a joke or two, asked about details he remembered, and let his intern do most of the work. Dr. Branch stood next to me and talked while the intern did the cutting. I would never let him know how nice it was just to have him there distracting me with questions. The shooting, burning pain was just more tolrable with another person there just talking to me.

Friends who call and text and visit are just the icing on this shit-cake. They really make it all seem so much less awful than it is. This time around it all feels worse, but my friends have stepped up that much more. They keep up with how I am and seem to pay attention to the ridiulous needs I have. Pain shared really is pain divided.

For the record, it still amazes me when boys do what boys say they will do. I doubt Brian will ever know just how much it meant to me when he came over Monday night. I knew all day that he wouldn't. I still think he was thinking of ways to get out of it. Maybe my feelings like that will pass with time. When he was there, standing there at my door, it just made me feel like I was worth it. I know, I sound like one of those snivelling females who seeks worth through the recognition of others. Well, it's true.

Getting ready for the exam while I work on healing. It will be here in less than two weeks. I am freaking out. I also doing what I do when I have things to do. I have cleaned my kitchen, organized recipe cards, watched too many shows on dvd, and cooked too many meals. Oh well.