Tumble dry ideas

Everyday is like rising closer and closer to the surface. Yesterday was full of feeling like myself. Today, I have been very upbeat, but not unrealistically happy. I am looking at just how sporadic and erratic my feelings can be, and I am just sort of thinking about how a thermostat would try to regulate. No, this is not ideal, but I think it is still better than just wishing to be better and that being all I do.

Basketball was good last night, and even though it was a loss, I think our reputation is a lot more in line with where it was that where it was going. My student who was on ESPN until midnight last night was in class at 11:30 today. I staggered.

Friends are so important. I keep thinking about that these days. The ones I have had and the ones I will have and the ones I have right now, they are all such a part of me. I am missing one friend so much. I wanted to watch basketball with this friend, I wanted to laugh at this CD with this friend, and I wanted to just drink a cup of coffee with this friend. I won't be doing any of those things. That is how it seems. I am not even sure if I should hold out or keep walking away. I keep looking back, that is for sure. I keep looking for my friend to say that things will be ok, and that we can be friends again. It's the saddest thing I think these days, and I try so hard not to think about it too much.

Have you ever felt like you are so much better at being who you are, but that the who you are never really gets to be seen the way you want it to be? That is another thing I think about. I know, it seems incredibly self-absorbed and narcissistic, and I can be those things, but the drive causes my mind to wander, and sometimes I get stuck on self without any way away from it. Just thoughts that tend to drift in and out, but they are the thoughts that seem most celebrated in a blog where I share MY thoughts. That's all I'm sayin...

Lonely Island songs in my head today, too. It's difficult to teach without smirking as I go through the lyrics to the last track on the CD in my head. If you don't know, it is a song about three 13 year old boys who have sex with an alien (at the same time thanks to the generous, hospitable anatomy of the arguably male alien)in order to preserve the alien race. After the group climax, the alien grants the young boys a wish. They all agree that they want to be the "greatest fake MC's on earth." Try teaching comparison and contrast essay writing with that song in your head...