Hoping for snow

Hi... Remember me? I accidentally on purpose looked to see of this thing still existed, and there it was as if I had never left. I read through some old posts from times that I had ABSOLUTELY wiped from memory, and then I remembered something else. I liked doing this. I even think I like that no one reads it. It's nice that somewhere in the world the words that I write exist in an almost anonymous place.

No need to fill in all the details, but the big ones are that in June my son moved to Virginia to try a year with his dad and at the end of 2013 I moved in with my boyfriend. Wha? Yup. All true. Sarah Beth has changed? Maybe, but I am pretty sure you would still recognize her.

I am working two jobs, I still have the plant, and I try to be a cleaner person.

I talked to Nathan tonight, and our conversations always feel so forced. I think he feels pressure to try to say something original, and I think I feel pressure to make sure he knows that I love him even though we are so far apart. It's harder than I thought it would be, the being so far away, and I am never sure he understands how much I miss him, how much his absence affects my present.

I am turning 35 tomorrow, so there's that. Greg is great almost all the time. He tolerates my expectations which is saying a lot, and I am learning that not every problem had to be fixed. In fact, I thought about that very idea today for maybe the first time in a long time when I was having a little spat with a friend and co-worker.

Some problems have this almost magical way of becoming unimportant with almost no effort. Now, I don't actually think that Greg is so smart that he always knows which one needs to be addressed and which ones don't. Personally, I think he would be pretty content to just ignore all of them, so I guess that is our balance. Today, in that spat, I felt my old tendencies creeping in as I tried to help my friend fix something she didn't want to fix. I still don't understand knowing there is a problem and not doing anything about it, but I am starting to understand giving it some time to just "be" a problem.

See? I told you I was still me. Incoherent and rambly.

My boyfriend is important, my friends are important, and I am afraid that my son is starting not to need me. 

There is a chance for snow tonight, and I really hope it happens. I would love a snow day and a chance to sit down and get some work done. Oh, yeah, I could totally be doing now, but I think this is good, too. I think I need a place to put my thoughts again. Truth? I am starting to forget who I am. My hope? I hope I find her here, and I promise, if I do, I will not lose her again.