Smiling through the pain

Last week I was worried about a Lit class. I am happy to report that I think it went well this week. I planned a good lesson, taught as well as I can, and now it is in their hands. It's so disappointing when smart kids don't challenge themselves and when not so smart kids don't try to excel beyond that boundary. Time is on their side for one more week. I hope I end up with a lot of them coming to talk to me about their papers.

Last weekend was a very busy one. Judith Butler on Thursday was excellent and the operas were great as well. We enjoyed the crawfish festival. On Saturday night we decided to go to a movie, and there were these awful people in the crowd. I'm not sure why, but it totally rubbed me the wrong way. I ended up taking it out on Greg, and that's when the lid came off.

The lid with him? Meh. Not really I ended up breaking down and sobbing the kind of sobs that leave the body tired the next day. I think I am finally trying to deal with the thoughts and feelings associated with Nathan's not coming back.

What has happened since that Sunday has been a little hard to deal with. I just wanted to go to bed. Really, until Tuesday, I couldn't shake the sadness. I actually spent most of Tuesday in bed. Greg was not helpful, but I guess I need to stop thinking that he is going to come rushing to my aide every time I get sad? I don't know. One mountain at a time.

I am nowhere near where I need to be as far as mental health is concerned, but I do feel a little better that I was finally a little honest about how I feel. Will I tell you here? Nope. I'm just not ready to see it in writing. That's as honest as I can be and as open as I can be as well. It's baby-stepping for sure, but there you go.

There are about 2 weeks of classes left until exams. And I am counting them down. Everyday I wake up and remind myself that the end is near. I am ready for it, too.

Yesterday, a co-worker and I made plans to rent a cabin at a local state park. The reservation is made, and we are really looking forward to it. Leslie and Barry will share a space with Greg and me for 2 nights. I think it will be fun, and I am looking forward to building a closer friendship. Pics to come!

I am also planning a surprise birthday party for two other co-workers. Tammy and Cathy both have birthdays that are a day apart. This is a pretty good excuse to get the house in shape! I hung the pretty lights last night in anticipation of having guests (in a month...).

Today will see me grading the things that should have been graded in Tuesday. I am in danger of getting behind, so I am trying to get back to where I need to be before the weekend hits. What will i do this weekend? Well, I will be grading of course!

2 more weeks... 2 more weeks.... 2 more weeks...